well.......as usual...nothing much to do ....... lol....

for one thing i m glad some ppl [or most ppl] i know r going to AJC.... coz i will not hav to go ruin my image again.....lol

well ysterday i went for a small church gattering....lol.... spent sometime away from my parents.... realised i m d onli sec 4 there who does not know how to play taiti...i thk its spelled tat way.....lol

personally.... i feel my mom did not really grow up.... she still behaves like a teenager....i personally don't like it... because she expects everything to go her way.....

its a day away from the new year....well ..... perhaps i shld make some resolutons....

lol..... guess i m d onli one who's wu liao enuf to blog every other day.....

lol.... today i did some of my bro's holiday assignments coz my bro said he could not get d answers..... so there i was ...using my calculator n AISS full-scap paper..... brought back another onslaught of memories.....

frankly i can't wait for sch to start so it can take my mind off these problems......

haha

wish i had something to occupy my time..... lol...i hav been bored enuf to discover d best way to get d broken look on a piece of Lego was to chew it..... gross but effective.......

its slowly getting harder to eat for me....my nerves are removing my appetite n it has dawned on me tat with every mouthful i am giving up my freedom......

i don't know wat you guys and gals think....... but it seems to me... tat its unfair for any gal to date me..... i can nv even get flowers for her...... lol......i guess i m a 'born loser' to most gals out there......sigh.....but maybe I am wrong....

usually the church is a source of comfort.... a hope for tommorow.... a light in d darkness of my life...... but if u read d bible closly.... one of d most important things to do after becoming a christian is to preach the gospel .... but I have not really accomplished much in this field.....

the noose draws in further...... i m frantically sawing on d rope.... closly missing my neck with every blow.......

well..... no one's online.....sigh....

i was in a gd mood ysterday bcoz i thought i had a happy christmas....

then i had to talk to some ppl bout how they spent their christmas

pretty stupid huh?wy can u fill sf in bout mishel(findulas)?
well.... can't say it was a miserable christmas...i helped out at my church.... enjoyed a long time on d com.....managed to talk to some ppl close to me...... but.....

sigh..... i m alone.........findulas is far away...
and some ppl got to spend time wth their loved ones......
and some ppl had parties
and some ppl could go out to giv others presents
and some ppl's younger bros were less annoying
and all i could do was enjoy a silent dinner of take-aways wth my parents

my mom believes tat d internet is making me more rebellious.... so she is cutting my time on d net.....i keep trying to sneak on after 10pm....

d noose is drawing in tighter..... i hope i can cut it b4 i suffocate.........

merry xmas!!!!!!!!!

lol...... hi ppl.....

thankfully i m better...was feeling ill ysterday....

lol....mayb i shld make some predictions for d new year.....

okok...... one of u readers is gonna meet someone from ur past.... n hopefully an important part of ur future......

another one of u is going get a special surprise from.... someone who finds u important.....mayb ur gonna find tat guy of ur dreams
some incident tat still haunts one of u today will vanish..... frenship may be build over old wounds........

lol........ tag me if anything happens.....my d Lord GOD protect us into d new year

haha.....

life goes on.......

wth me lying at home while ppl like sf go out enjoying life......

its uncomfortable, i know my life sux......

haha..... i feel so sick.....

well...my list on d positives on my life [click here] comes up 10 short of d negative list [click here] for now..... i hope to add on d positive list

Srry ppl....was in a bad mood.....

technically i m still in a bad mood...so nvm

hmm..... wat did i miss out ysterday.......

erm srry sf..... mayb i did not make myself clear on 16 dec post...... i came back onli for my results then went back...... n I M IN AJC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

i m probably gonna suffer 4 d nxt few years coz my chinese sux..........

haha....n yeah i agree wth all d tags on sf's blog........... it looks fantastic!!!!!!!!!

haha

if i don't see u ppl online within a few days i m probably gonna implode...... my parents are slowly becoming intoleratable..... but its me who has changed....... for better or for worse

haha

i have finished work on tat list.....its below coz i started working on it sometime ago.... or look under recent post.... d one tat goes[ i can't belive i'm doing tis.....]

n yeah y u shld not watch chicken little more than once
cya ppl............

if u can read tis o crap.................

okok, start with d obvious...... i m back again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol

haha..... srry no pic my bro lost my dad's digital cam....... lol can don't use my name plz ...... use dakras...... my parents are strict

n to state d obvious my life still sux

lol

wow..... i read ur blog sf...... erm...... technically d ppl are jus comparing ur blood samples to check how much genes affect our health...... i m betting on genes..........

lol.... i try stay online...but my parents..... haha cya ppl

I can't believe i m doing this.........

reasons i will choose to live this way again
[i know its mostly crap but.... i need it to b comparable wth d other list]

1. i know where i'm going,n whom i'm gonna see... i hav a fren named jesus,waiting there for me... he has given me something,that onli he can giv...... he gav his life in payment, so tat i could live [i hope i quoted d hymn correctly]
2. i don't hav to worry bout my physical needs
3. i don't need to worry bout anybody [my parents are totally concerned bout themselves]
4. i have been locked up wth books since young so i m well read
5. i still hav a will of my own though my mom has tried to make me thk tat i m jus an extension of her
6. i hav much time alone to thk n reflect
7. thx to my mom i m not obsessed wth any pop star ,music ,comic book, com game, etc
8. my life is slowly becoming normal
9. i still hav frens, whom i hope will stick wth me thru thick n thin
10. i can hope for a brighter future, yet i hav not enuf hope to break myself
11. i trust my instincts which hav nv proven wrong.....
12. my grades r ok
13. i m not disabled
14. i nv get much respect so i m not proud lik some ppl......
15. i can forgive ppl
16. i was born and now live in Singapore
17. i m a guy [yes i m male]
18. i m special in many ways so i get to see things from a different perspective
19. i m giving up on com games lik warcraft
20. i have msn so i still can contact my frens
21. i can adapt to challenges
22. i can smile
23. i can get up when i fall
24. i can('t) sing
25. i can be a nice person [if i want to]
26. i have patience[i know wrong spelling]
27. i m not so panicky[lol.....running out of ideas]
28. i m going to AJC, n i was in AISS... those schs taught n will teach me alot
29. i can create this list
30. i believe i have a purpose n future with someone i will jus call a fren; its funny
31. i have an imagination,tat i don't lik yh anymore but tat shatters everytime i speak to her its crazy i know .... i jus can't seem to thk bout other gals

so i m trying not to speak to her for a while..... but i know i can't help it if she goes online

I m back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hahaha

okok....responses to tags...... saritha, even d books at my house are not realli good:one,i hav read all of them;2,knowledge cannot be gotten from books at home otherwise i will not go to school

wy, DON'T TALK TO ME BOUT HARRY POTTER

sf.....i will be in malaysia visiting my aunt, d one tat migrated to malaysia when she married a malaysian chinese...... she has a child[my cousin] who is called wang li...... who has being staying wth us....... so for d pass few days i hav been offline........mayb i will b back on sunday........

i feel v.neg bout creating tat list on y my life sux.....i will do d opposite soon.....

haha i m totally bored now......... sigh my anagram skills r getting worse......

haha.......

well i will not b able to go online for a few days....cya ppl

whoa another cousin of mine has a blog!!!!!!!!!!

lol.....she liks to act cute.........usually.................

haha....finally in a better mood.......

now i m jealous.....i d onli one wth no pic!!!!!!!!

haha.....well it always seems lik i barely hav time on msn msnger..... so if u ppl hav anything to say don't wait for me to b online jus tag on my blog.......

haha.....

i thk shufen n weiyu r watching LOTR.....no fair i can't join them......
but i can read d book which has more details....hahahhahahahahahahaha

haha......now in a slightly better mood.....

but it suxs having to log off at 10pm..........

hahahahahahahha...............................

sometimes i wish i was realli crazy....not realising wat is going on around me.....its called blissful ignorance.........but ....haha......

one of the most impt things i hav learnt is not to assume your knowledge is correct........ lik my mom....... she claims to hav gotten v.gd grades in sch but her knowledge now is annoying....... it seems lik she believes info from d tv...... lik those about cleaniness given by soap commercial.......... ignoring research tat water usually is jus as effective....... haha

sigh.....now i m angry....... feel lik creating a list.............

reasons my life sux more than urs:

1. i m not allowed close the door to my room
2. i cannot turn on d com after10.....n everyone is online only after ten
3. i have to pay my bro $2 to play his warcraft CD
4. even though i pay him he still can push me out of d seat when he wants to play
5. if i resist he attempts to turn off d electricity for d com
6. if i push him away he goes to my mom who yells me to giv way to him
7. if i try do d same to him i m requested to act lik more mature n stop playing games.......
8. i rarely eat out........ n i rarely hav a choice of wat to eat for my meals
9. when i do get a choice i hav no idea wat d options are coz i rarly go out
10. n when i lucky 2 choose something tat can be bought there my choice is critisized
11. i m unable to understand most hawkers hokkien either
12. my mom calls me idiot,devil, stupid,fool.....etcetc in diff languages.......
13. she keeps asking me wat she owes me...... i shut up coz i hav no idea where to start..........
14. she believes tat she has a right to control my life coz she tosses my clothes into a laundry machine and cooks for me.......
15. her cooking is not realli perfect
16. she always complains bout d amount of laundry..... i take tat as a hint tat she does not want me to giv her more laundry by going out........
17. when i do go out i get a call every hour after 9pm commanding me to rush home
18. but i usually make it home early coz i hav a token allowance which i can use for nothing
19. i can't find a holiday job coz i m totally cut off from d outside world
20. if my com continues crashing for 2 hrs my mom says tat i hav played com for 2hrs n shld stop
21. she repeats tis while standing behind me watching wat i m doing online....
22. my mom's idea of healthy eating is to eat fruits while u are playing computer games
23. i m requested to stop playing com coz my bro wants to slp..... but i cannot request my bro to stop playing bcoz i want to slp
24. my mom believes watever i say is crap so i can't argue wth her
25. she believes my frens moms are idiots to allow them to live d way they do[for example, staying online after 11.......]
26. she keeps egging me to run away from home
27. if i run away from home, i might lose wat personal freedom i still hav when i go back[ is anyone willing to take me in?]
28. my dad believes watever my mom says bout me[i know he shld believe in my mom but.........]
29. i don't hav a playstation,or gameboy, am not allowed to turn on tv, my mp3 player is a free handphone wth v.limited sms, and my mom still asks y i spend so much time on a computer
30. when i go to church watever i say or do will b known to my mom,who complains tat i shld not do tis or do tat ....frankly tat realli sux
31. my mom keeps using d bible to demand tat i obey her...... but it seems lik she onli picks verses tat are 'useful' to scold me
32. my mom does not care when my bro refuses to listen to me but scolds me when i don't listen to her
33. she expects her requests to be carried out immediaty
34. my mom thks tat everything i hav is also hers
35. she expects me to tell her about my frens
36. but thx to her restrictions i alrdy hav few frens so i refused to tell her
37. if i don't listen to her 'hints' and 'requests' she start to further her restrictions
38. she expects me to make life easier for her i.e. i hav to go out of my way whenever she wants
39. my mom believes tat she both understands me and treats me v.well[she doesn't]
40. i hav to create a list to keep track of y my life sux
41. [add all d reason ur life sux after tis i m too annoyed to continue]

haha......... i m still in a bad mood...... imagine ur mom standing behind u screaming at u if you refuse to turn off d computer......... jus bcoz its 11pm....... n u've onli jus gone online..............

it is so unfortunate........... my mom considers me an idiot....... therefore watever i say is jus out to mislead her......... tat watever i want onli will destroy me..........
therefore watever i say is rubbish ....therefore she should not listen to me........

she complains tat my time on d com has made me rebellious........ well of course..... does anybody expect me to still listen to her every word after i seen how much i m missing out there? my childhood has been lost n can nv be replaced.....

she sometimes complains tat i m a devil........ i can't believe i still respect her as my mom...... but i hav to walk tis dificult way..........

i m actually feeling guilty bout condemning my mom...... but i m certain wat i write is true..........

lets see if i can get into a better mood.......cya ppl

O well....ysterday i was kinda happy...... dunno y today my mood is so bad.......

lol.....2day's church meeting was ok...... most ppl had jus come back from a church conference......lol......but i started sneezing during d meeting..... n my parents decided to continue socialising after d meeting.....all while i started having a fever...... then we went for lunch...... went home atbout 1pm...... then slept until bout 5:50..........lol......

well...... i must try get into a better mood........ cya ppl online..... too bad i can't meet u ppl in real life.......

scroll down for d main post tis are d clues i promised earlier
okok.....now for d clues i will give for these 3 anagrams:
when unscrambled:
'hlIf Jet DingE' is linked to 'lRin NetBeWOns' by warcraftIII
'hlIf Jet DingE' is linked to 'DAkrAS GaTysRAkewl' by Starwars
'lRin NetBeWOns' is linked to 'DAkrAS GaTysRAkewl' by LOTR

lol..... another clue is which letters are in caps..... careful bout d cap i 'I' n small L 'l'....... n d number of original words are d same as in d unscrambled words.........

tis is d 3rd time i checked thru....shld b possible to work it out..........

haha thx for tagging..............

lol...... 2day went chong pang 4 lunch....... my dad had to get his car back from servicing....... but d guys at d shell station were kinda slack..... so my dad decided 2 walk around while i decided to go home.......

lol...i went home d way i usually go home on a sch day...... by bus...... but since i missed a bus i decided to walk along d bus route until d nxt 1 could catch up wth me.........

sigh...... there were so many memories....... mostly not so gd but........ they were still memories....... lik d time i fell into d sch pond...... d time some choir ppl came up 2 me on d bus n said srry for making my life hell for d past few years........ raj's imitation of gollum......... lol...

hey if i m not wrong raj is d guy posting as o.O rght?

lol...... had a bad dream last night..... saw some guy yelling at his frens from d 12th storey of a block........saying 'u don't understand me' 'u guys don't even care bout me' etcetc..... he tossed a piece of paper into d air which i caught............ then he jumped.....i looked away.... onto tat piece of paper....... d words on tat piece of paper looked lik my handwriting........ d date was 23 oct 2006.......

hope it will not come to pass..............lol.......it will not happen.........

haha.........better put up d link weiyu asked me to...........

lol......hmm.... don't thk i will b allowed online 2night.........haha....... so cya ppl........

haha.... my life continues at tis dull pace..... i feel change approaching..... but...... maybe its still a few years away........

lol.....no one i know is online rght now.........

sigh...i m having a terrible headache.... i dunno whence it came from...... but i m not in d mood for a headache........

lol...... some ppl i know are always positive or trying to remain positive......... but i fear if i do so i will b being unrealistic........
d world we r born into is unfair........ some ppl are blessed wth a wonderful life...... n they still complain how large their minor probs are.......but they hav no idea wat real pain is.................

haha...... i was rght...... shld not hav gone 4 d choir concert...........=[ ........ i was d onli one there who did not hav anybody to sit with...... wah........

ysterday was also d first time i went out alone..... not fun..... wthout my parent's distractive nagging........ it seems tat everyone has someone wth them...... tat i don't belong in tis world any more........

sigh....it always seems lik nothing i want ever happens....... nothing at all............

i m trying to be happy....... but looking at things realistically......... i know tat i hav been v.slowly falling apart...... hope n God are all tat are keeping me together......

y do i esteem others tat hurt me? y m i willing to put other ppls happiness b4 me?

bcoz i know change is coming....... the tide must turn soon.......... tis is my hope...... tat my future will b something diff from d decline of 5886days tat is my past.......... finally i might hav rest from d nightmares tat trouble my daylight hours............ tat finally i may realli smile.......

*yawn* ...gd morning......lol..... since tis blog is onli accessible by its wed domain...... i m not going to bother wth an intro........
wonder how u all r doing.........haha


well....later 2day i m going to go for my sch choir concert.....named cantare...... get to see some ppl i hav not seen in weeks..... probably gonna get reminded tat my life sux ....... lol...>.<>

lol.....it seems as though i can't contact everybody when i want to.......lik hui ting...... yu hui....... ppl from my choir..... wei yu....... shufen........ n when they r online i m totally exshausted.... 2 tired to watch wat i say....... probably insulted some of them....... my deepest apologies........

from wat i heard [or saw over msn msnger who cares]some ppl went for our sch informal prom....... wonder how it was lik...... 2 bad i could not go........

lol....my mom complain tat i waste electricity by playing a few hours of com..... so tats all i will blog 4 now.....

ok..... now i hav got d hang of things........ lol....... haha my life is so bad tat getting a blog is amazing =P believe me......

haha first post

wow!!!!